


In The Eye of the Beholder

by Belladonna1185



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Love Triangle, Multi, Partner Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-23
Updated: 2012-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-31 15:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/345498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Belladonna1185/pseuds/Belladonna1185
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night in a bar with secrets, lies, and revelations. </p>
<p>i.Tonks ii.Remus iii.Lucius iv.Bill v.Ginny vi. Hermione  vii.Draco</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tonks

He thinks I can't see. That I can't tell, but I always can.

The way his eyes somehow always manage to find him in the room.

The way they try to not look when they are in the same place.

But I see them.

I know he'll always love him more than me.

He always denies it of course.

Tells me that he loves me.

I know that he feels something for me. But love? I don't know anymore.

I did at first. I thought I had worn him down. Broke past the barriers of his heart.

I was a fool.

He tells me that he loves Teddy more than life.

That I can believe.

I know he loves our son, would do anything, give up anything to share every moment of his life with him.

But I see the longing. The wanting. And know that if it weren't for him, he would have left me long ago.

I take a breath. Take a long sip of my drink. Take a moment to compose myself.

I was never one to hide my feelings either. They're as plain as day. But I try desperately to conceal them.

The others will see and I have no desire to feel their pity. This is my sorrow alone. It's not to share.

I only have eyes for him...and the other. My nemesis.

I can only see them.

I finish my drink, gently placing it back on the table.

"I'll go get you another."

He doesn't even ask. He just goes.

Seeing his out. Seeing his chance to go to him, talk to him, be near him even if it's only for a few moments.

He breaks my heart every time.

Some days I wish I could let him go. Give him up. Give him back to the one that so obviously holds his heart.

But...I can't. I'm too weak.

I need him. I want him. I have him. Even if it's just in body.

And I'm never going to let him go.

I look back at the bar.

My chest is tight. I struggle against shedding the tears I feel building behind my eyes.

I see it.

See them.

All that love.

And I die a little more.


	2. Remus

He's so beautiful it hurts to look at him.

It's a crime that someone be that beautiful. That graceful. That elegant and refined. But he is.

Always has been.

It's why I love him.

Yes, I can admit it to myself if no one else. I still and always will love him.

But...

I have a wife and son. So does he.

It's the reason we aren't together. The reason there is a gaping whole in my heart.

He had to marry her. He didn't want to.

But...

He ripped it out when he left me.

I've never been so broken except for when James and Lily died.

I take a swig of my lukewarm pint in a poor attempt to drive the demons away. I can't let myself be sucked back into the old pain.

I steal a glance at the bar and stare into the face of my beloved.

He still steals my breath away.

Even knowing what he's become. Even knowing what he could have been, what we could have been, I still fall into his grey eyes.

Grey.

Not blue.

Grey.

Like steal. Like silver. Like...like...My wife's hair. It's changed. She's upset and it's my fault.

I wish I could bring myself to touch her in this moment. Tell her the pretty little lies I so often do. To make her feel better.

But I just can't tonight.

I can't.

He's here and he's real and he's so close that I want to...need to touch him.

I see my chance as she finishes her pint.

"I'll go get you another."

I don't ask.

She knows why.

And I'm sorry for that. Truly.

I weave my way through the tables. Past the knowing glances and the curious eyes.

They don't understand. Can't understand. They're too young. They've never felt love cruel sting or the joys, the terrible joy, found in its sweetness.

I pray that Ginny will never suffer like my Nymphadora does.

I pray that Hermione finds someone that truly can love her with their whole heart.

I pray that Bill and Fleur will always be happy and in love.

I pray that they never know the torture of being separated from the other half of your soul.

Hardening my resolve, I struggle to compose myself. I'm almost by his side.

I finally reach the bar.

"Two pints ."

"Remus." My love whispers. I can't bare to look, but I must.

"Lucius. I..." But my words fail me as his exquisite hands trace my cheek.

I shiver. I melt.

"Remy...I miss you." So simple are those words. So simple, but so profound.

I catch myself falling. I know that I shouldn't. The others are here. The others and my wife. But can't stop falling.

Lips brush mine.

Finally I'm whole.

But only for a second.

"Please forgive me love. That was a weakness. I'm...I'm sorry."

Malfoy's are never sorry. But I can see that he means it. He is. He is and he isn't.

"Luc, don't." I grab his arm. "Don't. Please."

I know it's wrong.

I know it's wrong.

I know it's wrong.

But...

I

kiss

him.

I can't not.

I'm tired of fighting.

I'm so very tired.


	3. Lucius

I didn't know he would be here tonight...with her. And all of them.

I thought I could just drown my sorrows in Firewhiskey.

Feel it burn away the regret and guilt and...longing.

I never imagined the one thing I had ever wanted would be almost within my grasp.

I ask for another. Knock it back with out barely a grimace. I ask for another.

I sip it slowly as I scan the bar. Look anywhere but at him.

I fail.

I hate myself for my failure. Malfoy's aren't supposed to fail.

But I have in the past. I have now. It pulls me apart that my life, as a whole is, a failure.

Why didn't I listen to him.

He tried to warn me.

Tried to help me.

Tried to save me.

I was a fool.

I run a hand through my platinum locks.

Remy always loved my hair.

Always begging me to keep it long so that he could feel it caress his skin when we made love.

I keep it long for him still.

He has to know it's for him. Only for him.

My hair is a reminder. A symbol of the love that has defined my life.

I look down and find that my glass is empty once more. I order another.

I see their eyes. Those...Gryffindors. Those Weasley's and that mud-blood. I hate that they can see me like this.

I shake my head. Remy wouldn't like to hear me talk like that. I don't like to hear me talk like that.

I should have listened to him.

I wish I could go back.

Tell my father no.

No, I won't marry Narcissa.

Tell the Dark Lord no.

No, I won't be a Death Eater.

But it's too late. Far too late.

I've done such horrible things. Horrible things. And I've let myself become corrupted. Tainted.

I hate it.

I feel his eyes on me. Pierce me.

I love him so much.

He starts to walk towards me and I lose my breath. I know it's just to refill his glasses, but I wish he was coming for me.

He's here. He's beside me. While I don't let it show on the outside, inside I'm trembling. Aching for his touch.

"Two pints." I had forgotten what his voice does to me.

"Remus." Only managing to whisper my beloved's name.

"Lucius...I.." I have to touch him.

It's not enough. I can't keep it to myself any longer. I know I'm a condemned man. Damned. I still have to tell him.

"Remy...I miss you." And I no longer wish to fight.

I kiss him.

Something inside of me knits itself back together.

I would do anything, anything, to be worthy of him. Forsake me titles, my land, my wealth, my Lord- all for him.

It frightens me.

Pulling away, I try to rebuild the facade and fail once more.

"Please forgive me love. That was a weakness. I'm...I'm sorry."

I'm a Malfoy. I should be better than this. Malfoy's are never weak. Weakness is for lesser men. Though I know deep down, my wolf has always had the power to break me.

I have to get away from him.

I'm stopped by warm hands. He hasn't touched me in years.

"Luc don't. Don't. Please."

My Remy, my beautiful wolf kisses me.

And I'm in heaven for the first time since I sold my soul.

He kisses me and I don't care who sees.

Not the children.

Not his wife.

Not the myriad of nameless faceless shadows.

Only he matters.

Only his love matters.

I'm a Malfoy. I keep what's mine.

And he is mine.

All mine.

Forever.


	4. Bill

I know it's wrong.

It's quite sick, but I just can't help myself.

I can't stop my eyes from looking.

I lick my lips.

I can almost taste it. The desire.

It's wrapped around the room like a quilt. Like silk. Gently caressing each body.

I see them.

The lips locking. Tongues battling for dominance. The roaming hands.

I shiver.

I realize that my breathing has changed.

Short. Pants. They steal my breath. Make me think such wicked things.

Wicked.

And delicious.

And forbidden.

And...sexy.

Good people shouldn't think such things.

But I'm not really good am I?

I grasp my wine glass like life-preserver. Pouring the contents down.

Praying that it will steady my hands. My body. Hide my arousal.

I know I should feel bad for the girl.

That's her husband and Lucius.

I should, but I don't.

I chuckle as a set down my glass.

Eyes laser in on me.

They don't expect it of me.

I shake my head.

They can't understand. Would never understand. Would never want to understand.

It's to strange. I can't stop watching.

White blonde tresses. Ivory skin elegantly framed in midnight black and sliver.

All wrapped around golden brown and honey.

They're making a scene. A spectacle of themselves. Not caring who sees.

Not the wife.

Not the nameless masses.

Not those who would judge them harshly.

Not a soul.

I wish I could be apart of it. That breaking free. Being true to myself. To my desires.

I want to fall into that honey and silver.

I want them to touch me. To stroke me. To pleasure me.

I take another drink.

They stop kissing, but keep touching. Like they're afraid to let the moment go.

I want.

I shake my head. Try to fight the urge.

I have someone at home.

I have a body with white blonde hair, who's warm, and lovely.

Even as I know I should be lucky to have what I do, I still want.

Grey eyes pierce me. Hooded in lust. Burning with contempt.

I look away.

Grey eyes pierce me. Hooded in lust. Burning with passion.

They leisurely map every inch of my body.

Full lips pull into a lazy smirk.

He knows. He sees me.

Sees what I want.

Sending a silent offer.

I accept.

If this were any other time. Any other place. Any other moment I could have said no.

But the lure of grey and white blonde, midnight black and silver pulls me. Seduces me.

I excuse myself from my party and head to far end of the bar.

"Riesling please."

I feel a warm body slither next to me.

"Firewhiskey. I'll pay for the wine as well."

So smooth. So cool. So sexy.

Like father, like son.

We both take our drinks.

The others can't see who I'm talking to.

I don't want them to see.

I'm not as brave as Remus.

We move into the shadows. He understands how these things go.

We sip.

We stare.

We sip.

We move closer.

We sip.

He slyly, stealthily runs a hands down my side.

I shiver. I melt. I burn.

"Bill."

"Draco."

"You want to come home with me?"

Oh yes.


	5. Ginny

Mmm...

The heavenly flavors dance across my tongue.

Butterbeer.

I know it's a child's drink, but I love it.

I know my brother thinks I'm young because of it.

I'm not.

I see more than anyone thinks.

I pay attention now.

Ever since the diary.

I vowed never to repeat my mistake

So now, I watch.

observe.

act.

After draining the last drop, I order another from a passing barmaid.

Tonks.

She's fuming at Remus.

I roll my eyes internally.

She should have let him go long ago.

Should never have used Teddy to trap him.

Anyone with eyes could see he loved someone else.

Anyone with eyes could see that was never going to be.

Hermione says something to me.

I respond as I should.

Give "comfort".

As they all expect me too.

I'm a good girl. I say nice things.

What I think...Well...that's for me and Harry.

A gasp startles me.

I snap my head around.

Oh.

My.

That solves that mystery.

Lucius. Interesting.

I watch my brother. He laughs?

Interesting.

He drains his glass then moves to the bar.

Something in his eyes.

The way he moves.. It gives him away.

I know Bill won't be back tonight.

Poor Fleur.

I smirk at the thought.

Hermione and I share a look.

It seems all the men tonight feel the itch.

The urge...to cheat.

Honestly, I don't care what other's chose to do.

Honesty, I don't know why I came out tonight.

I could be home.

In bed.

With Harry.

I finish my second butterbeer.

I make my excuses.

I make my way out the door.

Away from the mess.

Into the night.

To my home.

To my Harry.


	6. Hermione

I inwardly cringe at the mayhem around me.

Tonks.

Remus.

Lucius.

Bill.

Ginny.

It's all too much really.

I am left alone.

Abandoned by my comrades.

Sighing, I desperately try to will away the tension that is creeping up my shoulders.

I look down at the glass in my hand.

my vodka and cranberry.

Maybe somewhere in it's burgundy depths I can find a way out of this...

This sinking ship.

Too much emotion. Too many secrets. Too many hearts.

The tension in my body is only getting worse.

Slowly I slide my hands around my neck and squeeze.

I hate to admit it but, I'm glad Ginny left.

I know that's bad. I know it is.

I should feel guilty.

I should, but I don't.

Now that she's gone I don't have to act.

I wonder why we even decided this was a good thing to do.

Tonight was a night to pretend everything is "okay".

Instead my sins come back to haunt me.

Who would have thought bookish, fluffy haired Hermione could cheat.

I shiver.

Images,memories flash through my mind of ivory skin, raven hair, and emerald green eyes.

I remember the weight of him pressing on my, in me, making me cry out with pleasure.

I remember vowing never to repeat it.

And doing again. and again. and again. and again.

We both know we made a mistake.

We both wish we hadn't crumbled under the pressure that is the Weasley charm.

We both know we are stuck with our lot.

Ron doesn't know.

Ginny doesn't know.

Bill suspects, but he can't throw stones now.

I see who he's talking too.

Malfoy.

Really?

Couldn't do better than that?

I look back to the bar.

Remus and Lucius are gone.

Tonks is drowning in her glass.

Bill and Malfoy are planning some torrid escaped.

And I'm alone.

Alone with my thoughts.

Alone with my memories.

Alone with my ghosts.


	7. Draco

I laugh.

They are all so stupid.

My father... All of them.

I drink my Firewhiskey.

Luxuriating in the glorious sensation of burning as it passes down my throat.

Everyone has secrets. Everyone.

My father...All of them.

I look to the Weasley boy.

He's sexy.

Long red hair.

Painted on leather pants.

Dragon's hide boots.

He looks like a rockstar.

He looks like a dream.

He looks at me.

Oh yes.

He's mine.

The silent acknowledgement of what is to come.

Oh yes.

He looks even better as he crosses towards me.

Flowing gracefully through the sea of the less worthy.

They can only hope to touch something as fantastic, something this perfect.

Even with the scars.

"Riesling please."

Sliding, slithering alongside of him I set the bait.

"Firewhiskey. I'll pay for the wine as well."

We stare.

We drink.

I know he doesn't want the others to see me.

I don't really want them to see me either.

Not because I'm embarrassed, but because I can't stand them.

They all have judged me.

They think they're better than me.

Hypocrites...All of them.

I push the thought away.

I focus everything I am in one brush along Bill's side.

He trembles at my touch.

I know he's mine. All mine .

"Bill."

"Draco."

"You want to come home with me?"

I guess I can't help myself.

I have to have my own wolf.

Like Father...

Like Son.


End file.
